peace

a cool breeze flirts with the sun's warm rays

my skin bristles and dews

the puffy white clouds wander listlessly across the bright blue expanse

the trees whisper to each other as the air circles 'round their branches

i close my eyes and turn full into the sunlight

the breeze dances across my features and sings of it's adventures

telling me of where it's been and where it's yet to go

i smile knowing that each breath I take came from somewhere far away

o, to be the wind flying here and there

my mind is full of carefree thoughts

my breathing slow and deep

i can hear the stillness

this, yes this, is peace.

green balloon

i'm a green balloon.

you can stretch me, squeeze me, even pop me

you can blow me up with your hot air, fly me far away

you can fill me with water, try to sink me

you can twist me into different shapes

sit on me, punch me, push me around

tell me i'm blue, tell me i'm in pieces, tell me whatever you want

but i'm still a green balloon.

things i love about your voice

it isn't subject to anyone's opinion

it's a quietly resounding truth

it never tires of speaking love

it's clear and unmistakable

many try to claim it as their own, but you're not worried

it has an underlying tone of patience (which comes in handy in my case)

always has the answer (which also comes in handy with my many questions)

in fact, it always is the answer and i love knowing that

hope

I hear your breath, I know you're there

But lately you've been invisible

I see what you do, I hear what you say

But can't seem to find you

My skin bristles when you come around

Instead of warmth, an icy breeze you are

Obligation's replaced excitement

Deeds have become duty

Will you let me in or leave me out

Trudge on through or walk around

I can choose which path I want

But that doesn't mean you'll want the same

So I will hope and I will pray

yes, I will hope and I will pray

forgiveness is a work in progress

so hard to sit by and watch your destruction

to wait to see who it is you'll hurt next

so many words are desperate to be heard

but i choke them down yet again

silence has never suited me well

still i'm forced to bite my tongue

honor before reputation

wisdom before defense

i suffer without reprieve

and you go on thinking you're right

it is as it is and tho i don't understand

if i don't forgive i'll never live

so here it is for all to see

i ... forgive .... you

(a work in progress it might be)

circle

you don't know cuz you don't hear me

you don't hear cuz you don't know me

you speak i listen

i speak you listen

but we can't hear cuz we don't know

another night another day

we'll never know each other this way

be still

be still my heart

and fret no more

the sun is meant to shine

the dark may loom

and overwhelm

but grace is surely mine

go

let it go

let it go

take a breath

slow my pulse

i could rant

and i could rave

no matter what

this path you've paved

so i'll watch you walk

and push away

i won't lie or play your games

not when friendship is at stake

too much life is left to live

to live it wasting time on this

let it go

let it go

take a breath

and let you go

missing you

i pray that night would swiftly come

and steal me away

take me to where you are

if only in my dreams

o, how i long for you

my heart will forever be yours

you are where i belong

you are all i want

silence

and in the silence you answer

you speak in whispers

forcing pause

i take a breath

i breathe you in

and in that breath swirls questions that have lingered

answers that have eluded me

i'm afraid to exhale

those sneaky answers just might slip right out

i might not catch it all

breathe out

breathe in

the silence is your answer

my mind

my mind is an amusement park I’ve decided

sometimes its fun to check it out, go for a ride

but other times it just makes me sick

entry always comes at a price tho its never paid till after I’m already trapped inside

why can’t it just be a regular ole park that I could sit and hang out in?

these 10 years

When I reflect on the past decade, this is what I find:

I have loved and lost

Been lost and found myself

Found myself in crazy situations and discovered a way out

Discovered Truth and believed

Believed in people and been hurt

Caused hurt and been forgiven

Forgiven and let go

Let go and held on

Held on and persevered

Persevered and failed

Felt the sting of failure and learned

Learned new things and have grown

Have grown up and been responsible

Had responsiblities and taken steps forward

Moved forward despite setbacks

Been knocked down but have gotten back up

Stood firm and been swayed

I've witnessed the worst and seen the best

I've lived in joy and experienced pain

I've been rejected and welcomed with open arms

I've had to let go and been fiercely loyal

Been amazed and felt disappointment

I've carved out a place for myself and created life

I've lived and watched and experienced.

And now on to more of it all ...

welcome to my guts

such a strange thing to think of posting my guts for the world to see.

i wonder if they are 'insides' for a reason

all the same, world meet guts; guts meet world

now that you're all friends ...